A split has been reported in the ranks of Cheek to Cheek, as secret emails 'obtained' by this reporter show. The announcement that this year's ride of Hope would be in support of Freeway - THe Dublin One, was premature, with at least one member of the duo rejecting this as a worthy cause, as the following email exchange between Skarra and Mazzer illustrates.
Mazzer to P:
See you about lunch time (1.00pm???) .
In the meantime, I have found a cause for our Ride of Hope . The cause is "Save Little Freeway (The Dublin 1)" and it will be a campaign to save Freeway from her terrible ordeal - arrested by the vicious Irish police and evicted form her home and now kept in detention.
Skarra in reply to Mazzer:
Yep, 1 pm is fine. See you then.
As for that kitten, it’s disgraceful that animals can be that lazy – further evidence of the sedentary lifestyles that humans and animals are adopting these days. Another example is that lazy rabbit we nearly ran over the other night. I don’t mind animals lying down, but to do so on a public highway is dangerous and stupid.
I’m afraid I’m in full support of the brave police officers who risked their lives to apprehend that selfish layabout.
Mazzer to Skarra:
Well that opinion of animals leave our Ride Of Hope in tatters, a shattered dream, as far as I'm concerned. Not because I love animals (just some animals, and only a few of them human) but because we now have no cause. We risk the same debacle as last year, where we rode our message of hope across Cumbria and Northumberland, but forgot to arrange what that message was.
I blame you for this, as you obviously read the newspapers, whereas I dont. I would suggest as an alternative theme that we ride for the Neanderthal Rights - the right to marry, the right to get a job, the right to good housing and an education, but I'm afraid you will poo-poo this idea as well, despite the desperate plight of said species.
If this is not acceptable, then you'll have to come up with a cause.
Sources within the band say this rift could jedopardize the imminent album release and first shows by the influential combo. This could be expensive for their record label, who have constructed a lavish stage set, rumoured to cost twenty-six pound fifty three pence. A spokesperson for Cheek-by-Jowl, the bands record label said :
"Hopefully we can get the tax back form the purchase of the two plastic chairs, although at present we havent found the receipt".