I recieve a welcome e-mail, wishing me luck from a friend in tomorrow's final midterm exam. He suggests (jokingly of course) that I consider cheating. I am way ahead of him, of course, and in case any of you have upcoming exams, here is my e-mail response, which details some excellent ways to cheat:
"Thanks. Actually, I'm planning to manufacture a fall down our stairs later today, hopefully resulting in at least a broken leg, and one arm. The resulting casts might come in handy. I also believe that we are allowed to take "lucky charms" into the exam - cuddly toys that sort of thing, - so I am currently trying to cover my laptop in fake fur. I have also spent the last eight weeks "peeling" a pencil very carefully so that the wood has been removed in a long continuous strip. Then I wrote all the answers in microscopic script (using a very expensive indelible ink I had to get imported)on the resulting parchment. The next bit was tricky - I glued the pencil back together using flour and water, so it looks like a real pencil again, but can easily be unglued with ordinary water. THen I flew to Switzerland and had one of my eyes replaced wih a magnifying lens. In the exam, I plan to unglue the pencil (using the bottle of water) I am allowed to take, and hey presto! there's all the answers. Join my Facebook Group "revision's for suckers"!"