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Friday, 31 July 2009

Back to where it all began....

Now that the vacation is over, and Large Villas is effectively up and running, economics and ambition return to the agenda. Economics, in that if I ever hope to go to Turkey again (or anywhere else other than the £1.20 bus ride to the city centre), cash must be raised. Ambition, in that I have no desire to find myself destitue in my old age (if that lofty place is ever reached).

In respect of the above, YWNA has returned to the old job hunt - this time looking for a position that is part-time, one that will compliment adequately my Educational path. I search through the local paper for jobs, under the caption "Education". It immediately becomes apparent that I need to progress much further in my degree before applying for jobs, as I simply do not understand most of the adverts. The following text may illuminate this point:

Advice and Guidance (Attendance Support)

£16,367 pa, pro-rata (Actual Salary: £14,370 pa)

We are looking for a Advice and Guidance officer to join our highly customer focused team in Learner Services.

You will provide information on all aspects of attendance to a variety of stakeholders.

Obviously, as a veteran of UK Government-speak, I think that I can unravel this drivel, in that I think the job described consists of telling people that they should go to school regularly otherwise they wont learn how to write elegant, jargon-free, jibberish-liberated prose, but I do not understand why anyone would get paid for doing this, and that uncertainty gives me pause for thought - there must be more to it.

Obviously, I have not yet progressed far enough in my degree to do this job yet, so I look for less advanced positions within education as a start. I type "Cocky watchman" into the search engine, but alas, I draw a blank. It is only later that I discover that nowadays 'caretakers' are called 'Facility Management Developers'.

I sigh, and Google "How long do my cats stitches take to heal". Obvioulsy, I have a lot to learn.


Bill Hall said...

Attendance Guidance Officer sounds to be just your barrow,

Of course, you will have to change the CrossTowner to "sit up and beg" handlebars, wear a long skirted fawn gaberdine, bicycle clips and a brown Trilby set square on the head.

You will also have to get used to kids calling "Hey up, Schooly" and ducking down behind fence/hedge.

MJN said...

I am looking into the possibility of getting a City and Guilds in shouting "Oi! Get off there! Bloody Kids" and an HNC in "Tea Making in Sheds". Armed with this portfolio, I agree that I would make a top notch Attendance Officer.