Stricken with a virulent flu that struck this morning, fully fledged, and with nary apology in respect of my 'move in' deadline at the house, I decide the wisest option is that instead of wandering round a cold and unheated house falling over my feet, crying "lacrima mea!" and being so unfocused by this lurgy that I cannot remember which way (clockwise or anti) screws should properly turn, I shouod stay at home and revise for my upcoming exams.
Immediately I log on to Liverpool's website, review how the reserve team are doing, log on to Celotex's website to enter my calculations into their on-line u-value calculator (despite thhe fact that we completed our insulation months ago, making this a completely pointless exercise), and of course log on to the papers to read only those parts of the news that are tolerable. This means no international news, shun the environment news, bypass the economic news, click past any articles about celebrities, read nothing about Man Utd, avoid making myself even more nauseous by missing any articles on Royalty, or for that matter New Labour, The Conservatives or the Liberals, ignore the fashion pages, eschew the 'Comment' bits, pretend the weather is not happening and most definitely dismiss the cooking pages as pretentious London weighted irrelevant fluff. I also regularly deny myself the pleasure of reading the ceaseless "Lists" that newspapers delight in lazily slapping together - "The Ten Best Weekend Breaks", " Fifty Places to Visit before Fifty".
Indeed, my ideal newspaper would be one page - a short report on the health, fitness and doughty chararcter of every player in the Liverpool squad, and one 'happy' news piece per day. I know that I could achieve this through feeds myself, but I am too lazy. Besides, I am too busy avoiding work.
Anyhow, just because everything else is pretty crap right now, here's today's 'happy' story: