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Thursday, 15 January 2009



Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in Piece of Toast

For Immediate Release: Miracle Toast?

(ACPA-london) Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddlesfield following news that local atheist Donald Chapman saw an image of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. In an exclusive interview with "The Huddlesfield Express" Chapman, 36, explained that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a fairly typical small hole in the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring" said Chapman. "Then to my amazement I saw the direction and splatter patterns of the crumbs with changing shades emanating outwards from the center of the black hole. It was identical to the chaotic-dynamic non-linear patterns that one would expect following the Big-Bang". "It's the beginning of the world" he added excitedly.  Images of the actual Big Bang toast are copywrighted by Don Chapman so we can only show this image which is a US Govt public domain picture

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddlesfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my life choices validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding" said one guest at the Huddlesfield Arms hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK National Atheist Association has asked its members not to pay attention to the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell" said one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddlesfield anyway noting that "Seeing is not believing".


MJN said...

Knowing Huddersfield, there are two possibilities - one is that this is a piece of satire (which I realise it is) but equally bizarrely, this also reads like the type of story made up by the Tourism Department of the local council. Small towns like H. (and I know this applies in the Dictatorship that is Canada) always amaze me that they bother to have tourism departments, but they do. Radio Lincolnshire ( which represents a county that is a bit like the desolate stretch of 'could be friggin anywhere' between Toronto and Detroit ) has towns that do this kind of thing all the time.
Excellent find JMac!!!

JoeyMac said...

heh, it reminded me of an article from upper North Sydney, where someone saw the virgin mary in the shadow left by a light bulb on the side of a Tim Hortens. The news story claimed it was starting to get fans from as far as New Waterford until (and i quote) 'some protestant changed the light bulb' :)