Right, that's it:
For sale (I will pay well), to anyone. Anywhere. I will accept reverse charge phone calls from Ulan Bator.
One large 17lb Ontario barn cat. Disobedient, destructive, vocal, kind of pink-coloured with unattractive habit of walking all over computer keyboard during crucial e-mails and grooming nether regions. Interrupts crucial negotiations over sale of real estate by tearing down curtains because not getting enough attention. Will not listen to commands.
Has enormous appetite, tendency towards diahorrea and spoilt by female co-owner, but nothing that good spell in the Army would'nt correct. Attacks his very cute little sister, balding male heads, and puts paw up nose of humans at 6.00am. Bites elbows.
Free Cat carrier provided.